Broken hearts, broken promises and broken dreams… love can shatter our world and leave us feeling lost, exhausted and disillusioned. We empower those who have hurt or left us to define our future and align our happiness and ability to love another within the constraints we bind ourselves in after a painful break up.
“You can search through the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” – Buddha
There is no one, not even the ‘perfect partner’ who can make you feel happy and loved if you have failed to create a space within yourself for self-love. Loving and accepting ourselves is the key to our own wellbeing and happiness. Self-love is finding what makes you happy and only you. It’s about developing an intimate relationship with yourself that does not rely on someone else’s approval or love. Too often I see clients that have given up on love because they are unable to overcome the pain or betrayal of an ex-lover and have resigned themselves to being a “failure in love”.
The truth is… they have fallen out of love with themselves! Self-love should be your first love not your last. It’s more than just feeling good, it’s an appreciation of self and it grows and strengthens from those activities and actions that support your psychological, physical and spiritual growth.
So for those of you spending Valentine’s Day without a date… now is the perfect time to start a love affair with yourself, it might just change your life.
Follow our guide below to starting a Self-Love Routine:
Being present in your life enables you to open up your heart and mind so you can feel what is it you need instead of what you think you want. Be mindful of who you are and act on this, rather than on what others think you want.
We should always be concious of what we say to ourselves because we are always listening. Set the intention to say something kind to yourself every day, such as “I am a beautiful and powerful person.” Affirmations are a great way to reinforce how we feel about ourselves and draw positivity into our lives.
Too often we struggle to say ‘no’ to work, friends or family. Create boundaries that nurture you and avoid committing to activities that zap your energy both physically and emotionally.
We all make mistakes, none of us are perfect and you know what…that’s ok! Instead of beating yourself up and worrying what others are thinking, let it go and move on. Learn from it and then leave it in the past where it belongs and give no more thought or time to it.
Pamper yourself, take a long soak in a candle lit bath with your favourite essential oil or herbal tea bath. Meditate or take up a hobby that you love. Find time to be in your own company doing the things that you love. Forget waiting for someone to buy you flowers, treat yourself to a beautiful bouquet. Listen to your body and mind, go for a run or walk, take time out for yoga or meditation.
Accept and Love Yourself
Be your own authentic self! It can be exhausting trying to be someone you’re not or being the version of yourself created by someone else. As Kurt Cobain once said “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are.” Accept who you are and embrace that person. We are all unique and accepting and loving ourselves for who we are leads to happiness and equilibrium. Your wellbeing and happiness is an inside job. The only person that can take it away from you is you!
Instead of trying to avoid Valentine’s Day this year, why not ignite that love affair with yourself and fall back in love with you.
There's always room for one more on our Therapy couch... so whether you join us daily, weekly or just when you have time to stop by we hope that our therapy chatter allows you to take time out in your busy life, to unplug from your everyday stressors and simply breathe, listen and change!