The 8th of March celebrates the global recognition of International Women’s Day. Founded on the principles of equality, solidarity and change, this day marks the acknowledgement of female achievement and influence throughout history and the celebration of the continued invaluable contributions to social, economic, cultural and political issues they make around the world today. For over a century the call for action to overcome restrictions and limitations placed on women has been championed by inspirational activists from all walks of life. They have tirelessly campaigned, marched and at times even lost their lives in the name of women’s rights. However, in the world today over 30 million girls of primary school age are still denied an education and over 15 million are forced into child marriage before the age of eighteen. Many are subjected to female genital mutilation and around 70, 000 young brides die every year as their still developing bodies fail under the pressures of pregnancy and childbirth. Despite so many advancements in the fight for women’s rights there remains a huge number that are still denied a voice. Now is the time to be that voice for them. Stand up for those that are still being forced down, speak out for those that are still silenced and join with a global community on International Women’s day to #BeBoldForChange. How to find the mindset for change....
Engage with innovative ideas and actions
Hold onto your vision for a brighter future
#Internationalwomensday | #equality | #mindset | #Change
Written by Jade Fraser-McKendry
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Let’s be real right now, motivation can be a slippery little creature to keep your hands on. One minute it can feel like a huge beast dragging you along behind it and the next like a tiny flea flitting about and leaving a constant itch that you just can’t seem to scratch. With those kinds of continual changes it’s no wonder that from time to time we all feel as if we have lost our motivation and the search to find it again can seem like an epic journey. That’s why I want to give you the heads up on a couple of obstacles you might meet along the way and my tips for helping to overcome them on your journey to motivation. Your hunt for motivation... First up the wall, it’s here that your mindset starts handing out the old limiting beliefs. You know the classic ‘you can’t do that because…’. These negative thoughts and perceived ideas of impending failure can stack up pretty quickly and create a wall in front of you that seems immovable and solid, with no way of going round it, over it or under it your hunt for motivation can look like it’s over before it ever really got started. Good news though, this wall is not as impenetrable as it first appears. If you look closely you will find that this giant barrier is actually made up of much smaller blocks that can be chipped away at one by one. Each brick is a thought or issue that needs to be overcome but as you start to look at it one piece at a time you will be surprised how easy it becomes to tear that wall down and leave your self-doubt in a pile of rubble beneath it Working towards it one step at a time... You have your mindset sorted but you now need to address your goals for this journey. While you’re searching for motivation your end goal can often appear to be perched on the top of a shear faced peak that is virtually unreachable. Standing at the base camp of your goal mountain the immense climb before you may look impossible. The road ahead is too challenging and you can start to feel defeated before you even begin. But look a little closer and you will see there are resting stops along the way, you don’t need to reach the mountain top all in one day. Break the ascent up into manageable chunks that you can work toward one step at a time. There is no denying the climb will be difficult but if you split your journey into much more achievable mini goals you will remove the crushing pressure for instant results and allow yourself the ability to look around and enjoy the view on your way up There is always a way through... On the other side of the mountain the quest for motivation continues. It is at this point you come toe to toe with the force of that river they call Perseverance. It’s true that sometimes the river flows smoothly but when motivation is eluding you the current can become rough and it is all too easy to be swept away in the opposite direction to where you need to go. There is often no boat or raft to be found and the struggle upstream can feel relentless. However, there is always a way through. You have the choice to surround yourself with people that can help you on your journey. Forget about the haters and the doubters that laugh at the person without a boat. Instead find encouragement from the friend that offers to build one with you. Even in uncertain water look for the positive and hang on tight because eventually the storm will pass Break Walls Climb Mountains Battle Rivers... If you have made it this far I hope you have found at least some of your motivation. Perhaps you have realized that it never fully left you in the first place. Could you really have taken the first steps on a new journey without even a little of it? Sometimes it can vanish from sight and curl up in a tiny ball in the dark corners of our mind but it is always there. You just have to be willing to break walls, climb mountains and battle rivers to let it out again. Based on a true story or at least based on the true motivational tips of our resident clinical hypnotherapist. Watch Nicole's own words right here... Written by Jade Fraser-McKendry #Motivation | #Mindset | #Positivity | #Therapyinthecity Written by Nicole McKendry, Clinical Hypnotherapist When I sat down this morning to write this article for National Fertility Awareness Week, I had every intention of discussing the benefits of hypnotherapy for IVF and preparing your mindset for the treatment… but the more I looked at the blank page on the screen I just couldn’t shake five little words that were repeating in my mind ~ I’m sorry there’s no heartbeat. Why was I thinking of them? Good question, perhaps it was because I had been reading some of the #fertilityin5 tweets on twitter or simply reflecting on my own fertility… either way those words were not something I had read or even heard during a talk with a client, they were spoken to me directly some years ago and the more I thought about those five dreaded words, the more I realised I had something else to write today. The taboo of miscarriage and childlessness is very easily swept under the rug but when I think of my own experience… it’s a very lonely place to be. People are still very uncomfortable with the subject and the consensus seems to be it’s better not to mention or talk to you about it. The only problem with that is when your pain, loss and fears are not acknowledged it can almost feel like no one really cares and that baby never mattered. I like so many I’m sure (yes even therapists need a little support) found myself joining groups with those that had shared the same loss… but after a while I realised that I found no solace in those Facebook pages, in fact if anything they made me feel worse and prevented me from healing that wound. Thankfully I was able to use my own therapeutic techniques to heal from that loss but I realise today that the emotional scar it left, likes to let itself be known when something like writing this article touches a nerve. It’s here I find myself today, thinking about those woman like myself over 35 that have experienced a loss and still remain childless. So today although a little more close to home than I had intended, I dedicate this article to all the women over 35 who are trying to conceive…. it’s time to create a fertile mindset ladies. First things first, those on the outside looking in… if they’re not supporting you, then you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life! It’s very easy I know (and I’ve treated clients who have experienced it), to feel stress and anxiety when people place judgement or make assumptions on why you don’t have children when you get to a particular age... let's be honest who needs someone highlighting that already loudly ticking clock! The truth is not always because career comes first or it's due to being unable to have children, for many the fear of being too old and leaving it too late creates a belief system, a mindset that almost works to block fertility and can be the cause of many unexplained fertility issues in over 35s were no medical cause has been found. It’s those established set of attitudes that need to change... replace negative attitudes and responses with positive and forget the myths, the stats and the lack of support by breaking down your own walls that support those limiting beliefs, fears and instead create a fertile mindset that supports your fertility mentally, emotionally and physically. Most importantly remember that the mind-body connection is a powerful one and your mind, what and how you think can have a direct influence over your body. “Where there are no tangible medical complications of pregnancy, the risks of childbirth in older women are no greater than in younger women” … Editorial, British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology To get your started, I’ve provided a quick self-hypnosis exercise below to help you visualise conception. If you don’t have time to do this, then I recommend you take the positive affirmation and repeat it to yourself daily. Change starts in the mind! Self-Hypnosis Find yourself a quiet place where you can relax undisturbed for 15 minutes:
I trust my body, my body knows how to conceive a healthy baby
If you would like to discuss creating a fertile mindset or conceiving over 35, you can email me at hello@therapyinthecity.co.uk #HiddenFaces | #NFAWUK | #FNScotlandUK | #Fertility | #Dundee | TherapyintheCity | Hypnosis Written by Nicole McKendry, Clinical Hypnotherapist As we blow a parting kiss to summer and embrace the arrival of autumn with a hug, it seems the perfect time to pull out our chunky knits and spend as much time as possible in front of the log burner drinking pumpkin spiced lattes. However, my autumnal bliss was interrupted a few nights ago when I was rudely reminded by a very large house spider that the chill in the air and darker evenings also signify something else… spider season! Now as my boyfriend kindly reminded me, we do live in the country and sharing our home with #spiders is part of the country life! To which I concur and it’s not as though I think there’s a queue of spiders with their little suitcases waiting at our front door to move in but… when faced with the prospect of a large spider about to run up your bare leg, I feel I was entitled to find the whole experience just a little disconcerting. Truth be known, Cedric (as he has come to be known) was as freaked out by me as I was him and he dashed back under the bathroom door and is to this day still hiding out somewhere in the house! Whether it’s those pesky spider house invaders, plastic Halloween spider decorations or a YouTube video of an Australian Huntsman spider carrying off a mouse (if you haven’t seen the video this week and can stomach it click here to watch) one thing is very clear… if you suffer from a fear of spiders, known as #arachnophobia this time of year can be extremely distressing. Arachnophobia is one of the most common phobias, affecting 55% of women and 18% of men in the UK. Now I had a brief moment of fear when I thought the spider was going to run up my leg but what differs between this and a spider phobia is that the fear would overwhelm the sufferer, with the fear being greater than the actual risk. It’s natural to experience fear if encountering danger or if we were in a situation in which we faced a poisonous creature that threatened our life (just for the record here my bathroom skirmish was neither!) but an Arachnophobic would experience this intensity of fear, even when the danger to their health or wellbeing is not real or present. So do you suffer from a spider phobia? Chances are you know you do but for those still unsure, why not answer the following question - if you find a spider in your house do you: a) Throw it outside? b) Suck it up the vacuum or squash/flush it? c) Feel as if your heart is about to burst out your chest, start screaming and running around unable to deal with it, start sweating, feel sick… call the estate agent it may be time to move? If you answered yes to C then this article is for you. The physical responses mentioned above happen when you experience anxiety from being exposed to a spider. Arachnophobia can be debilitating and stops people going on holiday, gardening and in extreme cases they live in constant fear. Clients I have treated tend to be less scared by the actual danger that spiders present (thankfully in this country not a lot!) and more of the thought of them, the way they move which can seem to be unpredictable and irrational. I swore blindly to my boyfriend (much to his amusement) that the spider came running under the bathroom door straight for me but in truth, he was likely running away from something else, like blaring light or sound. Fear of spiders is a conditioned response, something that we have learned… as such we simply need to unlearn this unhelpful fear that is enforced each time you are exposed to a spider. The good news is this fear can be effectively treated using clinical hypnotherapy or BWRT® and the negative conditioning responsible for running the faulty subconscious programming that underpins and drives this fear removed. The treatment works directly with your subconscious mind to change the automated response that you have when you encounter a spider, removing the emotional triggers and replacing fear with confidence and calm. So when you see that lone spider running across your carpet, he’s probably trying desperately to find a mate and not running at you. Male spiders don’t live long, he’s taking a chance being out in the open and risking his life. As for you… he’s most probably hoping you won’t see him! Finally, for those of you who don’t suffer from a phobia but just simply want to evict those eight legged unwanted house guests. Then I suggest you do what I do and invest in a good bug catcher! If you would like to talk to me about your spider phobia, please do get in touch hello@therapyinthecity.co.uk #Spiderphobia #Dundee #Scotland #Hypnotherapy #Fibromyalgia (fi-bro-my-al-juh) is a chronic musculoskeletal disorder resulting in widespread pain and fatigue throughout the body. Pain radiates from the fibrous tissues such as tendons and ligaments and is described notably by those suffering from the condition as an aching, stabbing and burning sensation from head to toe. The actual cause of Fibromyalgia has yet to be identified but research suggests that it often develops after some form of trauma that acts as a trigger such as a fall, car accident, childbirth, viral infection, operation or an emotional event. However, it can develop without any visible trigger. Symptoms of the Condition - In addition to #chronicpain and #fatigue there are a number of symptoms experienced from person to person, some of these can often include:
Current treatment of this condition seems to be focused on treating the symptoms and not the actual condition itself. This may be attributed to on-going research into the actual cause of Fibromyalgia. Prescribed medication is the primary treatment provided by the medical profession. However, those suffering from the disorder believe learning to manage the symptoms will provide greater relief as current medicinal drugs have been suggested to be insufficient in controlling symptoms
Managing Symptoms with Hypnosis - #Hypnosis is a mind-body therapy and can help those suffering from Fibromyalgia to make positive changes both mentally and physically. With the application of hypnosis those diagnosed with this chronic condition can begin to manage the symptoms and aggravating factors to provide them with a lifelong management system for the disorder.
Effects of Hypnosis on Fibromyalgia Sufferers - many sufferers attribute a reduction in their symptoms with the treatment of hypnosis and often use hypnosis as a way to limit their pain symptoms and increase their energy and comfort level. 1. Pain Relief - Hypnosis has long been utilised in managing pain and works in three phrases. The first is complete physical relaxation. This is important as the muscles of those in pain become tense and this in turn increases pain. Hypnosis can bring about a level of relaxation required for total muscular relaxation. The second phase is sensory alteration, transforming the pain into another sensation whereby triggering a different perception of the pain in the patients mind. The final phase is a form of mental distraction, to draw the sufferer's attention from the source of the pain, which in turn has the ability to server the connection between fear in the mind and symptoms in the body. 2. Stress Management - Emotional stress and #anxiety can trigger muscular pain, headaches and in extreme cases anxiety attacks. It can also cause sleep disturbances which in turn increases symptoms of the condition. Learning to successfully deal with stress using hypnosis can help patients to manage symptoms and the condition easier. 3. Quit Smoking - #Smoking is an aggravating factor in Fibromyalgia. Those suffering from the condition have reported finding that inhaling nicotine can trigger and flare symptoms. The reason for this is due to the fact nicotine impairs the function of your muscles and as it enters the bloodstream it reduces the amount of oxygen circulating the body. With a reduction in oxygenated blood, muscles don't receive the vital oxygen and are unable to repair themselves, causing the sufferer pain. Nicotine has also been linked to muscle contractions, which in turn can lead to sleep disorders like restless leg syndrome. If you want to ease your symptoms and manage the condition, it is highly suggested you consider cutting nicotine out of your life. Other benefits of hypnosis include:
If you would like to discuss using hypnotherapy for Fibromyalgia or book an appointment at my #Cheltenham clinic, please contact me on hello@therapyinthecity.co.uk or call me direct on 07525 375957. While reading the newspaper the other day, I read a story about a young woman driver being fined £100 and receiving points on her licence because a policeman caught her sipping a nice cool drink through a straw while sitting in traffic. The rest of the story is irrelevant and I like many others reading the story no doubt thought "I feel safer on the roads because of this vigilant officer.....not." Time moves on and two days later there is another related story in the same newspaper but low and behold it is a police officer sitting in his police car sipping a similar drink while behind the driving wheel.
Shock horror what an outrage how could he? The slant from the newspaper story not me. Then came the feedback from readers; "typical, no one is above the law but those who serve the law, the driver from the original story should be reimbursed her fine and her points taken off, etc. etc." Not exactly how I saw it myself because my thoughts were two separate instances with two people doing what the law says they should not be doing. Not two separate people doing the same wrong thing so because one is a police officer they should cancel each other out. Slightly different perceptions of the same story but one that raises the question asked above; "Two Wrongs Don't Make A Right Or Do they?" For the majority responding to the second article that day in the paper it did. How often do people tend to look for a mitigation to their situation by using the actions of others to cancel theirs out? Personally, I find this way of thinking alarming as it shows a distinct lack of accountability from an individual to accept responsibility for their actions and speaks very clearly and loudly about their perception of what is wrong or right. Everything we do in life is down to the choices we make and whether we believe them to be right or wrong it makes no difference when there are rules, laws, processes, that state the opposite. Going back to the original newspaper article, this is how I would like to think this would be dealt with. The driver should not be refunded the fine nor have the points withdrawn because in the eyes of the law she did something wrong. The Police officer should be identified and disciplined for his actions and if warranted fined and have points added to his licence. If you look at situations impartially and leave emotions aside you'll never need to wonder if two wrongs make a right in any circumstance. How often do you wake up feeling tired? One possibility is that your Smartphone or tablet could be affecting how much sleep you're getting. Recent research has found that LED screens disrupt sleep by stopping the body producing the hormone melanin, which responds to light and governs whether you feel sleepy or not. Studies support and suggest that the decline in the number of hours slept per night is affecting public health by increasing the risk of obesity, heart disease, depression and diabetes in adults and contributing to concentration problems in children. 2. Don't take your Smartphone/Tablet to bed with you for the fear of FOMO (fear of missing out). Lack of sleep induces anxiety and makes day-to-day functioning difficult.
3. Recognise and be honest with yourself about the real reasons you can't unplug when you go to bed. Are you being overloaded at work or is your manager imposing unrealistic deadlines. (read more on how France is trying to help workers with work-life balance). Perhaps you're afraid to miss a text or update from your boyfriend/girlfriend...why? A healthy relationship with trust should allow for time apart without you feeling anxious or needing to be in constant and instant communication. Give it a try.... unplug and have a goods night sleep! Sleep problems? Why not contact Therapy in the City and change your sleeping pattern. While talking to an HR Manager she commented "perception is reality". I said "my understanding is that an individual's perception is reality" as not everyone perceives everything in the same way. The HR Manager immediately informed me I was incorrect in thinking that and long story short... we agreed to disagree.
What is reality? : the true situation that exists : the real situation : something that actually exists or happens : a real event, occurrence, situation, etc. What is perception? : the way you think about or understand someone or something : the ability to understand or notice something easily : the way that you notice or understand something using one of your senses Communication... how many times have you read that due to a breakdown in communication this or that happened or worse did not happen? How many times have you heard people say " I am an excellent communicator across all levels". Isn't it surprising then that a lot of the times you hear the former it comes from those that openly stated the latter. Does that mean these individuals are confused about their skill level or is it simply their perception of reality is that they are excellent communicators whereas others perceive their communications skills differently? Personally I believe that reality is perceived differently by all and it is only when you confirm aspects of reality that a true picture is obtained. However, how often do any of us do just that? Looking at the world I would say very few. The next time you communicate something important to others, take the time to get them to relay back to you what you have discussed and where relevant what the outcomes will be. Why? Because if you walk away with your perception of reality and they walk away with theirs, then the outcome will no doubt not be what anyone expected it to be. Whereas, by taking just a little time to build a shared reality the outcomes will be what both or all of you perceived it would be. Have a question for Graham? Email him at hello@therapyinthecity.co.uk |
AuthorThere's always room for one more on our Therapy couch... so whether you join us daily, weekly or just when you have time to stop by we hope that our therapy chatter allows you to take time out in your busy life, to unplug from your everyday stressors and simply breathe, listen and change! Archives
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